


Not According To Plan

by InkSpotz



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Reality, Loki Does What He Wants, Poor Thor, Real World Meets Fictional, no coffee
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-07-26 19:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7587157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkSpotz/pseuds/InkSpotz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started one Asgardian morning when Thor didn't get his way. Loki has hatched yet another plan to take over Asgard, and it involves Thor going to an alternate reality of Midgard. (AU idea)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Loki was evil. He would do anything it took to get what he wanted, but this was the final straw. Wrapped in a ruby red Asgardian robe with his blonde hair sticking up wildly in every direction, Thor slammed a fisted hand down onto the counter in the kitchen. He glared oceanic blue daggers at the empty electric socket in front of his face; a socket that usual housed one of Thor's favorite Midgardian inventions.

"LOKI!"

Thor's thunderous shout rang throughout the place, but no answer came in return. Growling slightly under his breath, he reached up a hand to throw one of the cupboards open to fetch a cup. He had thrown it open too hard though, for as it flew open, it slammed hard into the cupboard door on the other side and splintered slightly. He ignored the fractured state of the cupboard though as he brought out the cup and set it down.

"Do not test my patience, Loki. You wouldn't -"

"Like me when I'm angry?" suggested a voice. Loki slid around the corner then with a sly grin playing on his lips; an emerald green robe wrapped about his wiry body and his black hair possessing a slight cowlick. "Stealing a line from good ol' Bruce now are we?"

Whipping around to face Loki in the doorway, flames sprang to life in his eyes. This was Loki's way. He always found some way to press all of his buttons.

"Give it back."

"Give what back?"

Another growl accompanied by the sound of a cup slamming into the wall behind Loki's head, shattering to pieces.

"Ohhhh…" said Loki slowly with his serpentine grin, "You mean that ol' thing? I didn't think you'd need it anymore. Besides, shouldn't you be able to whip yourself up a cup with your thunder?"

"It doesn't work like that! I need the machine!"

"You're really going all prima donna on not having your Midgardian coffee machine, aren't you?"

"Look, I have a routine. I need my coffee in the morning in order to carry out this routine in an appropriate manner," said Thor, trying to remain slightly calm.

"Um...Thor, that's being sort of prima donnaish..." said Loki with a quick finger point at a disgruntled Thor. "Having a set routine that requires strict upkeep shows that you are very high maintenance."

It wasn't until Thor was standing there and listening to Loki talk that he detected a faint hint of coffee in the air. It was almost undetectable, but Thor was able to pick it up. He took a few strides closer to Loki. Though Loki tried to make it appear as if he didn't shrink back or anything at that move, he did lean back a bit at the thundering blonde moving towards him.

"You smell like a dark coffee blend..." said Thor in a low voice as he stood mere inches away from Loki. "You used it, didn't you?"

"Now I think we both know the answer to that one, Thory..." said Loki in a condescending tone of voice, daring to reach up a hand and ruffle Thor's already messed up hair.

"Don't call me Thory, Loki Pokey."

"I really wish you had never learned about that absurd Midgardian song..." said Loki, taking one cautious step back.

"Where is the machine, Loki?"

"I don't have it."

"LIES!"

Thunder rumbled in Asgard, and everyone knew what was taking place without even having to ask. Besides, they were used to this. This kind of thing happened a few times a month. Especially on Mondays. Thor wasn't a fan of Mondays just like many Midgardians weren't.

"You have five seconds to tell me where it is Loki..."

"I really don't -"

"ONE!"

"I swear I didn't -"

"TWO!"

"You are too dependent and I just -"

"THREE!"

"You can't hog the machine -"

"FOUR!"

"You'll never get it outta me!"

"FIVE!" Thor clenched his hands into fists at his sides, looking like a raging bull. "Prepare to have the truth ripped out of you!"

Loki turned then and raced off down the hall to get to the coffee machine he had hidden before Thor caught up to him. Thunder rumbled overhead again. This time in a much more violent nature. This time it wasn't just contained to Asgard. This thunder was now creating a storm on Midgard, and hundreds of people out for a stroll or a barbeque were quickly starting to rethink their day.

Thor quickly caught up with Loki and soon had him pinned up against a corridor wall. Thor's hand gripped the collar of Loki's bathrobe to be able to thrust him upwards off the floor a bit. Loki's feet flailed a bit in his attempt to touch the ground to no avail.

"Tell me where it is..." said Thor in a dangerously low voice.

"I threw it out the window!" said Loki finally.

"You wouldn't dare..."

"I did! I did! Go look out the window at the end of the hall if you don't believe me!"

Not wanting to believe Loki, Thor released his grip on him and raced down the hall to see if it was true. Though Loki made it appear as if he had reluctantly given Thor that information, it was all part of his elaborate part that was now set into motion. Asgard would be his soon enough.

Loki straightened his green bathrobe as he turned to see Thor opening the window to peer down at the shattered remnants of the coffee pot. A slew of Asgardian curses left his mouth then as he stared down at the broken coffee pot. After a moment or two of mourning, Thor turned back around to see that Loki was standing at the end of the hall. Loki was acting as if he were scared of his brother, trying to hide his happiness at the fact that his plan was in motion.

"I'm gonna go get ready and go to Midgard for a new coffee pot..." muttered Thor under his breath as he stalked past Loki towards his chamber. "These are days where I wish Asgard had Amazon..."

Hearing Thor's chamber door slam, Loki allowed the grin to slip fully upon his face then. Time to go put the next part of his plan into motion. A lack of coffee wasn't the worse thing about to happen to him that day.


	2. Chapter 2

Before Thor realized it, he was soon ready for his trip down to Midgard to fetch a new coffee pot. As he walked down the hall, still muttering to himself, he ended up passing Loki again. Loki had only left his post in order to change his clothing. He was wearing his usual garments and still wore the smirk upon his face as Thor brushed past him.

"If I had known this would bother you so badly, I would have done it earlier."

Thor didn't bother answering Loki. He honestly didn't want to get into another fight with him at that moment. All he wanted to do was get his coffee machine and then come back to Asgard. He figured that, at most, it would only take an hour or two. Perhaps he could even drop by headquarters and see how the Avengers were fairing. He had heard about the war that had ensued between Tony Stark and Steve Rogers and had decided to stay out of it. He figured he didn't need to get involved in something that would more than likely simmer down given enough time. Perhaps it was time to check up on things though. Of course, that's what he'd tell anyone he bumped into. No one else needed to know the truth.

As Thor walked to the bridge that would take him down to Midgard, Loki watched him with a sinister eye. In his mind, he replayed what would happen as soon as Thor passed into Midgard. An enchantment had been placed upon the bridge (an enchantment that Loki had been studying for months in preparation for this moment). Thor, of course, couldn't tell that an enchantment had been cast upon the bridge and the guard there didn't know it either. Loki had studied for the moment far too well, and was able to carry it off without the slightest problem.

"I'll be back shortly. Make sure someone is watching Loki."

The guard gave a curt nod of his head as he stayed in his position, ready to allow Thor entrance to the world below. Within seconds, Thor was soon on Midgard. He looked about him, tucking his hands into his jean pockets as he walked towards Stark Industries. The quickest way to get the right Midgardian coffee pot would be to ask the electronics wizard, Tony Stark. Perhaps even Tony could build him the coffee pot he needed. He kept his head down as he walked towards the tower, lost in his thoughts until…

"CUT!"

Startled by the voice, Thor jumped a few feet in the air before turning his head towards the sound of the shout. Staring at him with a bright red face was a man in a black director's chair. He had one hand currently knotted into his hair before jumping down from his chair and waving both hands animatedly in front of him, resembling a scissoring 'x' over and over again.

"Chris! Get out of the shot!"

Chris? Before Thor could respond to the director that his name wasn't Chris, another voice was added to the mix.

"I'm not in the shot. I'm right here."

Thor's eyes turned to a blonde haired man that was currently leaning back in a chair a few feet away from the red-faced man's. He was decked out in Captain America garb with his legs crossed. In his hands was a sandwich of some sort. He currently had part of it in his mouth; a mouth which was curled upwards in an impish smirk.

"EVANS! I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Hemsworth. I'm going to have to start calling you by your last names again, aren't I?"

"Would help," piped up Chris from his seat as he swallowed the bite in his mouth.

"Just be quiet and eat your hero sandwich, hero," said the man in a sarcastic voice. Chris just shrugged and did as told, watching Thor with piqued interest.

Seeing that Thor still wasn't making any moves to get off the set, the red-faced man stalked towards him and stood right in front of him. He pointed a finger at Thor and poked him right in the chest with it.

"Hemsworth, you have 'til the count of five to get your butt off the set so we can finish shooting the scene. Besides, you aren't even in this movie to begin with! I don't even know why you're here."

Thor had had it by this point. First he couldn't get his coffee because Loki had broken his coffee pot, and now this. Thor looked towards Chris and then said in an irritated voice, "Why aren't you backing me up, Rogers?"

"Whoa, whoa, hey now!" said Chris with a laugh, raising up both hands in surrender; the partial sandwich still housed in one hand. "I'm not getting in the middle of this. I already put in my opinion once. I'm just watching the fireworks. Plus, my name isn't Rogers. Nice method acting though. I really could take a pointer from you."

"But you are Steve Rogers."

"No..." said Chris as he shook his head from side-to-side. "Steve Rogers is my character. Dude, drop the act. You aren't Thor."

"LIES!" shouted Thor then, causing thunder to rumble overhead once more.

The red-faced man looked up then as the thunder rumbled, throwing both hands up into the air.

"Great! Just great! Now it's going to rain and ruin the shot! What else could go wrong?" The man turned back to Thor and glared, "It's your fault, Hemsworth. You delayed the shot."

"How dare you talk to me like that! No one talks to the King of Asgard like that!"

"And you don't talk to a director like that!" shouted the man back.

"Russo, cool it," said Chris as a small laugh left his mouth. "This is amusing. Can't you give Chris props for his intense method acting?"

"There is a time and place for method acting, and this is not one of them!"

Sighing, Chris stood up from his chair and walked over to Thor. He gently gripped him by the forearm, and proceeded to try to drag him aside to no avail.

"Chris, c'mon dude. Lets not pester him when there's a deadline and a storm coming."

"The storm is from me!"

"Stop kidding around, dude. It's not funny anymore."

Seeing that Chris still had a grip on his arm, Thor moved a hand down to immediately release it. Seeing that Chris couldn't even coax Thor off the set, Russo went to sit in his chair again.

"Hemsworth! Evans! Both of you! Get. Off. The. Set!"

The last word was said in a high-pitched tone of voice, which indicated that he was beyond irritated at this point. Thunder was still rumbling in the now overcast sky above them, and Chris moved to lay a hand on Thor's arm again. After a moment or two, Thor reluctantly followed Chris off the set. He was led right past the disgruntled Russo as he was slouched lower in his director's chair; rubbing his temple with one hand before screaming out, "Now ACTION!"

Chris didn't let go of Thor's arm until they were a little ways away by the snack table.

"Dude, what do you think you're doing? I know you might be a tad upset about not being cast in Civil War, but you had that other project you were working on. You said it was fine; that you were cool with it...remember?"

Thor looked on at Chris confused, looking as if every word that left his mouth was an alien word. Chris could tell and rolled his eyes a bit out of pure exasperation.

"Chris, listen to me, and take off that wig! How'd you even get this? We didn't have this in our wardrobe!"

Chris reached up to tug slightly at Thor's hair, only to get an angry response from an already irritated Thor.

"HANDS OFF, ROGERS!"

"My name is not Rogers!" shouted back Chris, tightening his grip on Thor's hair and continuing to pull it.

The thunder overhead rumbled again as Chris continued to tug at Thor's hair. Thor pushed Chris back and caused him to stumble a bit, only for Chris to resurge in anger. On the other side of the snack table, another man appeared. He was methodically chewing on a danish as he watched the two of them fight. Chris saw him out of the corner of his eye and said then as he kept tugging, "Seb, help me out here!"

Sebastian smirked, shaking his head as he shoved more of the danish into his mouth.

"You're on your own there, bud. You got yourself into this mess."

"Thanks a lot, Sebastian! Wish you were loyal like your character!"

"Hey! I'm loyal. Just right now my loyalty lies with this danish. I skipped breakfast this morning!"

Sebastian took a big bite off the danish then as if to prove his point; getting the filling on his upper lip like a mustache.

Thor cast a sideways glance at the messy Sebastian, completely confused.

"What happened to your whole ''til the end of the line' spiel, James?"

Sebastian rose a brow in question; his cheeks currently filled like a squirrel's and not allowing him the ability to answer.

"Intense. Method. Acting," grunted out Chris, now twirling in a slight circle with Thor; hand rooted deeply into his blonde locks. Sebastian immediately nodded in understanding before continuing to watch the scene.

"THIS IS NOT A WIG! Let go mortal!" shouted Thor in anger.

From above in Asgard, Loki peered down with a smirk on his face, watching everything play out. It was all working out far better than he could have ever planned. Turning around, he looked at the now passed out guard of the bridge. He wished that he had studied enchantments of this nature earlier. They would have proved useful in dethroning Thor. He shrugged his shoulders then as he whistled merrily to himself. The bridge was now impassable. By the time Thor finally figured that out, it'd be far too late.

"Asgard is mine..." said Loki then with a small grin as he turned his back on what he had previously been viewing. He had his empire to build.


End file.
